When you become an item and enter into a relationship, you are expected to (and should want to) spend a lot of time together. By being around your loved one, you have the privilege of getting to know him/her better while building memories and developing routines together. However, it is also important to be able to function independently while still being in each other’s presence. This is something we do well.
I don’t know of a single relationship where the couple spends all of their time together while giving one and other their full and undivided attention. Nothing would ever get done! In the beginning, a lot of the time spent together involves doing mutual activities, but as the relationship develops and more time is spent getting to know each other, each person tends to take up/revert back to their own routines and hobbies. And it is incredibly unlikely that both of you will have exactly the same interests and hobbies – we are individuals and what you enjoy investing your time in makes you, YOU! Life goes on, which means some of the time, though your partner may be physically near you, you may not necessarily be operating together.
You might be cleaning the house, doing the dishes, taking out the garbage together, drawing, wood working, whatever it is that makes you happy - but you are actually performing the task autonomously, without your partner. It is important to remember that just because you want to do something doesn’t mean your partner has to (or should be expected to). It is so nice to be able to read a book while your other half works on their laptop, but still be able to enjoy each other’s company. Often in my household, we are physically in the same room, but are doing our own thing. It doesn’t bother him/I that the one of us is focused on something entirely different from the other. We each need our own space and interests because operating independently builds conversation between us, promotes sharing stories and new discoveries, and lets us re-charge a bit too.
A millennial woman with 'old school' values, working my way through life in Canada and traveling when I can afford to. Seeking out my passions one day at a time.