Traditionally, women are thought of as being the mooshy ones – the more “romantic” of the two. Women are the ones who love rom-com movies, who like to snuggle, who plan and cook fancy dinners, who remember all of the special dates, and put their partner’s needs before their own. I’m confident in saying that this stereotype is not true, especially not in my own relationship.
I have never been a “romantic”. Sure, I don’t mind rom-coms and I do cry (on occasion) at tragic love stories, I do enjoy snuggling but am not usually the initiator. I can cook and prepare a nice dinner for two, but I also won’t slave away on complex dishes. Of course, I remember the super special dates related to our relationship (with the help pf Google sometimes) and try to put him first wherever possible and in many relevant instances I do, but I also recognize that he is an adult and can fend for himself. Rather than call myself ‘a rock’ (as he sometimes jokes), I prefer to call myself the less romantic “romantic”; I have some great ideas for us as a couple - I do special things for my hubby and plan special short getaways with him when I can, but it’s not always top of mind. The big dates (birthdays, wedding anniversary, engagement date) are logged away in my brain, but do I remember the date when he first messaged me online? The date we first met in person? The first time we prepared a turkey together? By heavens no, there’s only so much room up there.
HE, however, remembers all of those things and so much more. Aside from the lovey-dovey dates, he remembers what I wore and what I ordered on our first date. He even insists on celebrating each year the day that I didn’t die in a car accident (the first year, I had no idea why we were going out for dinner… what a strange thing to remember). He writes me love letters on special occasions (and sometimes for no reason at all), wants to snuggle until we both shrivel up and die from starvation, would watch The Notebook at least once a month if I tolerated it, and has the talent to cook well, with homemade Pad Thai being one of my favourites. He enjoys watching proposal videos and doing mooshy stuff (and even has shed tears when the mood hits him right), whereas I do not care nearly as much about a proposal video of a couple I do not know and I’m definitely not the mooshy type (though, put a cute or injured animal in front of me and I melt). I certainly appreciate his efforts and love it, but I don’t generally gush.
He also takes pride in trying to out-do my own surprises and if you’ve seen or heard about his proposal, it might be clear that he has been holding that record for years. We compete if you will, to make each other happy and enforce cute things at home to make our relationship more special (tea before bed, a weekly timelapse photo, the bed-time choo-choo). If we know one of us is having a rough week, we’ll treat the other to dinner or a favourite treat, or give them a small gift to lighten their mood. So, although he definitely has more ‘romantic bones’ in his body, I still have a few things up my sleeve... but I know he does too.
A millennial woman with 'old school' values, working my way through life in Canada and traveling when I can afford to. Seeking out my passions one day at a time.